Ego against Life Expectations: Vallalar’s Guide To Breakthrough

Hi there! beautiful soul. ‎‎

Have you ever wondered why life goes opposite to your expectations? Maybe you’ve blamed the plans. Maybe you’ve the strategy. Maybe you’ve questioned if you were doing enough. Have you ever thought maybe your ego could be the problem?.

‎‎I know you’re asking ” how is ego the problem?” ‎‎

Many see ego as pride, others sees it as self-respect. Many compare it to self-worth. The fact is, ego wears different mask, the difference is how much of a hold we let it have on us. ‎‎

Here, vallalar gives a precise answer to these questions and guides you through this difficulty through his experience and insight he has gained over the years.‎

Life and Teachings of Saint Vallalar(Ramalinga Swamigal )

Ramalinga Swamigal, known as Vallalar, was a 19th-century Tamil mystic whose collected writings, the Thiru Arutpa, remain one of the most extraordinary spiritual records ever produced. His life was filled with remarkable feats — though he dismissed anything supernatural, insisting that everything he did was a science. Vallalar established a center for feeding the poor that still operates today, serving free meals to anyone who arrives, without condition. On January 30, 1874, accounts from those present record that he locked himself in a room in Mettukuppam and was never seen again, his body never found. This event is documented by government records and by British Collector John Henry Garstin

What is Ego? Vallalar’s Answer

Ego wears different faces, as self esteem – which is not a bad thing because it involves having a strong, positive thought of oneself. It becomes a problem when we let it become a controlling factor in our lives which can turn to pride. ‎

While many philosophers give theories on the term ego, vallalar taught that it creates a sense of separation from the supreme being and from others.‎ It often attach itself to our desires and expectations “I want this to happen this way, I deserve that, I must achieve this, people must treat me this way” giving the sense of “I am and every one is different from me” instead of “I am one with the world, I am one with people”‎‎.

This often causes our plans to fall through because the ego makes us loose opportunities, leaving us disappointed and frustrated.

How Ego Turns Expectations to Disappointment

‎An individual made out a life plan: by 23 I want to have my own empire, I want my first car by 20. What happens when life says “NO”?. Many times we make plans leaving out the Supreme Being. We often think we have control over the outcome forgetting that life is driven by forces that are beyond human control.

We forget that our living is made possible through the Divine Being. We believe so far we work hard and make the “right choice” everything will fall in place, it’s not always so.

‎‎We face challenges along the journey of life that causes setbacks and a block ways to our plans which can either delay our achievements it entirely.

This causes a feeling of sadness and frustration because we couldn’t get what we have always wanted.

The disappointment isn’t only from what we lost but also because what we planned didn’t go the way we wanted. We feel it’s unfair because we’ve done our best working towards our goal only for the plan to fall through.

Ego would say “I worked so much for this so I deserve this result” but life doesn’t always go that way. We get attached to a particular outcome that we don’t want to entertain any other possibility. But life is not a one-way train. Sometimes the route changes and we are forced to take the direction we never planned to take. Vallalar emphasizes on moving away from self-centeredness toward love, compassion, humility, and union with the divine.

Separation From Ego

From the previous section, you now know how ego relates to expectations and it’s attachment to self. What if we stop allowing ego to dictate our relationship with life?. This is where the separation from ego comes in.

This means detaching yourself from the attachment of self. Where ego says “I worked so hard for this I deserve this outcome” separation of ego says “I worked hard for this but I trust the Supreme Being for the outcome”. ‎ ‎

With thoughts like that, we begin to detach from the mentality of “I am and I’m different from others” to “I am one with people and aligned with the divine light”. Don’t mistake this for neglecting yourself or looking down on yourself. The only thing you’re getting liberated from is the sense of separation from the world and divine being that the ego brings.

‎‎In Vallalar’s teaching, separation from ego means becoming less identified with the limited “I” and more receptive to the Divine reality that connects all life. You get to participate in life while moving in alignment with the Supreme Being. ‎He also explains that this process of separation leads to having compassionate for all life, allowing us to be able to relate with other people filling the sense of unfamiliarity that the ego seperation might bring.‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

Practical Steps to Separation From Ego: Vallalar’s Guide

You must be wondering how you can separate yourself from the attachment to self. First, you must be able to recognize when you get too attached to identity. This doesn’t mean you don’t get to have an identity.

‎‎An individual who has a plan to achieve a particular goal, fixed on one particular outcome and not interested to change directions for any reason. In this context, this individual becomes egoistic because they refuse to consider anything outside their outcome.

On realization of that feeling, the individual seeks alignment with the divine light by changing his attitude of self-centeredness through compassion. Detachment from self is not automatic but a gradual process.

Vallalar encourages to use the central daily practice for this is the recitation of:‎‎

Aruṭ Perum Jōti. Aruṭ Perum Jōti. Taṇi Perum Karuṇai. Aruṭ Perum Jōti

‎‎Translation is :

‎The Vast Grace-Light. The Vast Grace-Light. The Incomparable Great Compassion. The Vast Grace-Light.‎

As time goes on the individual begins to feel the shift inwardly from the conception of “I” towards divine light ‎‎‎‎

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